Yesterday, last night really, I found my self very present once again to one of the most painful moments of my life. Many years ago, someone very near and dear to me had attempted to commit suicide. I remember when I received the call – it was actually a message on my machine. It was well before the days of cellphones find anyone anywhere… I remember the message saying something like “if you care,…” The person that left me that message had no idea how much I cared, and they were in as much pain as I was, if not more, because they were the ones that found her.
I felt as though my insides had been ripped from me, what to do, where to go… I was so alone. And even though I had people to turn to, I felt I could not. I stood in the rain at a phone booth dialing over and over… in tears not able to complete the call. As I remembered that night, my heart was again feeling as though it was being ripped from my chest. It was so far removed from my memory that I had almost forgotten it happened, I was certainly not present to those emotions.
What happened to my friend, she has gone on to heal from that which drove her to the edge, and live a fulfilling life. And I am forever grateful to the one that found her.
It's never too late and there is always help.
There is always a way through what ever you are going through, and regardless of what you are thinking there is help, there are people who love you and care about you and will do anything that they can to walk with you through your pain.
It takes courage to withstand all that you have to reach that ledge and be willing to jump, it takes just as much courage to take a step back, and let others support you, you can do this.
Never, Ever Give up.
Life is meant to be lived, to be loved, to be honored and cherished, and so are you my friend.
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